No good person

I'm not a good person...
But then again, who is?
Nobody is perfect.
But even so...
Can't help to think I'm no good.

I wish I was a better person.

I wish I was a better son,
I wish I was a better brother,
I wish I was a better friend,
I wish I was more, more than this.

I'm half the man I would like to be.
To everyone who know me, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if I'm not good enough. I'm sorry for my mistakes.

I'm half the man I would like to be.
All I wanted was to be free.
So I could see, all of this world.
I just want to be me.

And more...

I will try to change.
I will try to do better from now on.
But still, there are some things...that can't be changed.
I wish I could...

I'm sorry.

Life's Like a Story

In this life or only in stories...

Life's like a story

Thank you / sorry

Live. with all the good memories


- 林競文／K.Lam -

Waiting on the World to Change

A few months ago, I talked about voting. Today are the National votings.

I'm waiting...
I'm waiting on the world to change.




Have a clear mind, and care for the world.

Peace.

Neko

According to this site, in Japanese: http://www.freedict.com/onldict/jap.html

Neko, besides cat, also means: asleep, in bed, sick in bed.

Now, I don't know if those two have some kind of correlation. But it does somehow suggest that a cat is 'lazy' and likes to sleep.

Well from my own experience, cats are active. Hunting, climbing, leaping over fences.

Just like my backyard: The cats' "natural" habitat.

I'm sure your backyard is the same.

Photo: Here we see a not-so-rare sample of a Felis catus, also known as the domestic cat. Hunting, searching for food, in the backyard;where survival of the fittest is all that counts.

No Fresh Carrot Skin

Translated from cantonese...

The cantonese saying 'I'm no fresh carrot skin', which would roughly translate to something as: I'm not something special, I'm just a regular/average someone. Nothing more, nothing less.

Then again, sometimes I'm just like a piece of trash really...
But hey, even pieces of trash need to go on right ? =)

However, there are times too, when you'll feel you are really far 'more' then all those 'others'.

Arrogance and ignorance don't go well together.
Arrogance and intelligence however...can go together, but true intelligence does not include arrogance.

Not trying to be more...
Or less...

Just this

But 'others' will always perceive something else.
Points of view.

Therefor, all there's left to be...
Is to be.

A Journalist's Life

So what about it?

Well, nothing, just like the title.

Wanting to live the life of a journalist eh?

I guess so, ever since my early days in highschool, being a journalist is one of the few things I wanted to be.

You know, there's a certain 'romance' about being journalist. Individuals who stand amidst life & society, trying to do something. Just like a detective in crime stories who solves mysteries and helps people. An independent individual who, preferably, works alone and solve/create/make things on their own. Goes to many places, talks to many people, see a lot of things. Yeah, a journalist is pretty much a detective, both try to gain information.

I see...sounds adventurous.

I think it is, well of ofcourse it also depends on what kind of journalist you are.

But with all adventures, the possibility of danger is always lurking. Just recently again, in the turmoil of the political chaotic Thailand, 3 journalists were injured.

I know, that's also what my former chinese teacher told me. Being a journalist in warzone areas is dangerous. But you see, I'm not craving for adventure or anything. Just want to do what should be done.

Okay, let's go talk about something else. Do you have the 'abilities' to be a journalist?

A a journalist you should be an allrounder. Someone who knows a bit of everything. For me, I do want to know a bit of everything, that's what my daily life is about actually. Also, knowing a lot of 'connections' would help too. For that, I'm working on it...well sort off. It will come with time. It's not about how much people you know, more so, how much different kind of people you know.
Don't you ever got the feeling there are different kind of 'groups' of people. Some people belong to one group and stick with them all their life. Some got more 'groups' they're into. Maybe 2 or something. For me, I want to know all different kinds of people. And I do think, as I have sort of experienced in life, that I do might have the abilities? Personality? to interact with different kinds of people. Maybe it's my natural instinct to adapt to situations or just to blend in.
Ofcourse, the amount of things I have experienced so far in my life is still few, so I don't how the future would be, but I do hope that I truly can be like an allround person who everyone can talk to with their subjects and thoughts.

It seems like you have thought about this?

Well you know, sometimes I've got a feeling I'm caught in between 2 worlds. Or maybe even more.
For example, I can talk to person A, who get along with group A people, but I can also talk with person B, that rather prefers to be with Group B people. And these 2 groups will never really interact or don't even get along with each other. But for me, I'm just fine with both.

Hmmm...you DO have thought about this, I would like to hear more from you about this, but let's save that for another time. okay?

Okay sure, I'll write more on my blog from now on, so you can read it if you do drop by.

Well that's good to hear. I would like to thank you for this...ehm dialogue?

Hmm, well not much of a dialogue this is eh? More like a monologue?
Since this is just me writing all this...

Hmmm...

Well thanks anyway!!


Upcoming posts on striveagain.blogspot.com
# Eason Chan 2010 Europe Tour !!!
# "Koninginnedag 2010" Queensday 2010 Gelderlandplein ~ Nihon no hon ya Nihon no zasshi!
# Street Snapshot Story ( I took a photo of this 'epic fail' paper that was glued on a lamppost! )


Peace and be good person!

Not A Single Plane

Bright clear is the sky

Only few clouds drifting by

Not a single plane


-ShiftySeven/K.Lam-
My attempt doing a Haiku =)

Dancing In The Dark

My favourite song of this moment.
Dancing In The Dark by Bruce Springsteen. Although the first time I heard this song is actually Amy Macdonalds cover version. I like both the original and the cover. I've posted them both. First up the original by The Boss and scroll down for Amy's beautiful acoustic version.




I get up in the evening
and I ain't got nothing to say
I come home in the morning
I go to bed feeling the same way
I ain't nothing but tired
Man I'm just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help

You can't start a fire
You can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark

Message keeps getting clearer
radio's on and I'm moving 'round the place
I check my look in the mirror
I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face
Man I ain't getting nowhere
I'm just living in a dump like this
There's something happening somewhere
baby I just know that there is

You can't start a fire
you can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark

You sit around getting older
there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
I'll shake this world off my shoulders
come on baby this laugh's on me

Stay on the streets of this town
and they'll be carving you up alright
They say you gotta stay hungry
hey baby I'm just about starving tonight
I'm dying for some action
I'm sick of sitting 'round here trying to write this book
I need a love reaction
come on now baby gimme just one look

You can't start a fire sitting 'round crying over a broken heart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
Hey baby

Riff 'n Lick

DWDD talks about the best guitar riffs voted.

Rwaaang~~ Rwaaang ~~~ Rwaang ~~ Daaang ~~~

=D

Requiem For A Dream

Today again, it's time to vote.
What does voting means?
Living in a 'democracy' means most votes counts. So they actually make you believe that your vote counts. I don't know if that's true. I don't know if my vote is going mean anything. I hope it does.

Democracy isn't the 'best option' there is. But it is the most 'fair' one. Democracy only means we'll go the way what the most people want. 'Most votes wins'. Sounds fair to me. But...
The fact that most people choose for one way, doesn't mean thats the best way.

What if only a fair amount of people knows the 'truth' to the 'best solution'? They won't be heard, since the masses will choose elsewise.
But then again, we know there's nothing like 'the absolute truth' and more so, the best solution is different for any individual. What works best for me, might be bad for you. Opinions differ...

What kind of world you want to live in?
Lets say you actually can make a difference by voting. Then I would vote.
Been making all these tests at kieswijzer.nl & 'kiescompas' at at5.nl and it's hard.
There's hardly one single party that complies with all your opinions. So you gotta choose the one that suits you best. And when you do have decided what party want to vote for, you still have to choose a candidate.
For me I want someone who knows what he/she is doing. Someone educated, someone who knows whats going on the streets. Someone with vision, an idealist but also a realist. Choosing the right/best decision by acting rationally but with a compassionate heart as well.

You know, making decisions is hard. I don't think I can be a politician. There's never going to be way to fullfil the needs of every person. You can't go both ways. There will always be people who disagree with you.

To change the world, is to see it.
In sci-fi films about the future, the future is always either a grimmy place with no order at all, garbage everywhere, un-safe streets: The 'post-apocalyptic' -scenerio. Or you got the 'Perfect-society' - scenario: Beautifull clean streets, regulated progress of life, ID-taged transactions by eye-scan or what not, no crimes, surveillance camera's everywhere, police on every corner......................that's not a perfect world...that's a fake & plastic world.

However it does looks like we might setting out for that direction. These days everyone talks about 'safety' on the streets. People suggesting more surveillance camera's on every corner of 'dangerous' streets. More cops on the field, preventative examinings (preventief fouilleren ;) ) for every person. Now you might say, if you got nothing to hide , then you got nothing to lose. That's true. For me too, I got no problems with more camera's and all those other countermeasures against criminality...but is that what really helps? Is that really the solution to the problem. A problem that is part of a grander issue that's going on. Integration? Education?

Do we really want to live in a world where every single thing is being regulated? A world in which every single step you take will be monitored? A world between 'we and them'? Where's the free world we used to live in? The one where we could just go outside and play as kids. A world with no fear of being robbed, a world in which we can talk to our neighbours, a world in which we are all equal.

Vote and see what happens. Atleast try. I wanna try it and see what happens.
What kind of world you wanna live in?
Today it might be just voting for the city/citydistrict. In a few months we must vote for the country. You still got some time to think.

What kind of world you wanna live in.
We do can make a difference. And if this is all just a lie, then at least we tried.
I would like to believe we can, and if that makes me a believer then so it is. But at least I tried.

"You can't rant if you didn't vote =P"

PS: I know 'Requiem for a dream' is a somewhat overused piece of music, but still, it suits the text & thoughts of this post. Listen to it while reading)

A Protagonist Revived

The Kid
The Young One
The Student
The Soldier
The Journalist
The Guitarist
The Protagonist
The Atagonist
The Idealist
The Realist
The Musician
The Troubadour
The Filmmaker
The Photographer
The Radioman
The Detective
The Writer
The Composer
The Lyricist
The Poet
The Athlete
The Dancer
The Singer-Songwriter
The Artist

2nd Anniversary

~striveagain.blogspot.com 2nd anniversary~
From 15.02.2008 to 15.02.2010: 2 years of striving & blogging.

It's been two years since the first ever post "Roots" was written on striveagain.blogspot.
Made a total of 38th posts (deleted one, because of spam) and this post you're reading now is the 39th post of this blog. The first year 2008 had a slow start of 7 posts total. In the second year my blogging began to shape form with 23 posts made in 2009. And now into our third year, the counting has already reached 7, which was the whole amount of the first year. I got a feeling there will be more frequent posting coming up ahead. (Ofcourse quality > quantity, so will try to write better. But then again, gonna write whatever comes to my mind anyways...so).

~What has changed these past 2 years for striveagain.blogspot?
Well to start off, there are more readers. When this started off, Nobody knew about this. I was literally just writing for myself. And that was and still is my purpose now. Ofcourse, knowing there's actually some people reading this does affect you.
Also there seems to be more people blogging that I know of. Ofcourse blogging isn't new, but it sure is a lot easier than before. youtube, facebook, twitter; it all adds to the multimedia society we're living in.

~Had you been blogging elsewhere?
I did had some blogs elsewhere, but didn't posted alot there, since once again, noone knew about it. Had xanga for a bit, but didn't used it. Most noteably was my blog at Hyves. It gained quite some popularity and controversy on it. Also replying on other blogs on Hyves was fun to =)

~What do you want to achieve with your blog?
Like I said before, The solely purpose for this is to write for myself. I just like to write things down. Not only online, but on paper/notebooks too. We as humans communicate, and everyone got something to say. Just look at youtube, literally everyone wants to upload something of themselves just to show to others.
Ofcourse I know people will be reading this and I'm glad for that. There are times when I feel there's something that should be said and I want people to know about a certain issue or topic then it's only good that I got such medium as a blog for me to communicate through. "The pen is stronger than the sword".

~Do you think people get your blog?
Ofcourse I can deny that, there's alot times that I write things that are difficult to understand (pardon my bad english). Or really personal things, but I do think that somehow, someway, if you can relate to it, it would be worth reading it.

~What do you wish for the future of striveagain.blogspot?
I hope that I can continue to write on it everyday, every week, every month and every year. I will work harder too on everything. I'm content with this blog and if some readers do actually have gained something reading out of striveagain.blogspot then I'm glad =) I just hope that everyone would continue blogging. So we could share all the good (and less well) things in life to support each other.

All you have is you yourself and your thoughts and minds.........and everyone & everything around you =)

Peace!
ShiftySeven / K.Lam

多少22年

"多少"
主唱：陳奕迅
作詞：蔡健雅
作曲：蔡健雅

我用盡所有方式找個人給我安慰
渡過寂寞的黑夜
我問守護的天使也許她能夠體會
這無助讓我好累
走到無路可退我還能相信誰

＃用多少天用多少年的跌跌撞撞才找到終點
用多少傷痛的心愛才不離開身邊
用多少謊言去掩飾彼此的不完美
要用多少個世紀讓我看透一切＃

我走在這個城市 熟悉又陌生的臉
有誰能給我安慰
我問守護的天使也許她能夠體會
這無助讓我好累
走到無路可退我還能相信誰

REPEAT＃

我沒有任何防備 沒方向到處地追
沒翅膀卻好想飛
我努力順風跟隨
黑或白找不到個絕對 全都是灰

REPEAT＃

要用多少個世紀讓我看透一切

______________________

The song with english translation



(Link to video, if you can't see it on here)

Not Who You Are

Talk is cheap
That much I know

Everybody wants to be someone
Nobody wants to be noone

Everyone got something
I got nothing

Talk is cheap
That much I know

It's not who you are
Then who are you

Do you know me?
You don't know me

Talk is cheap
That much I know

Time will tell
Fake hopes won't sell

What's really true
Will be true

Best of Both Worlds

(Bring Back Balance Part 3.)

Don't bring me down
I take the best of both worlds
Balancing on the line
Is what you need to do

The best of both worlds
Balance between back and forth
Setting up the world
For us to live in

Taking on forth the difference
Bringing back the balance
This is our resemblance

Bring Back Balance Part 2

Bring back the Balance
Bring back the Battle
Back to Back

The line between...

Now and Then.

At your best when you're alone.

Bring Back Balance

A line of life
Bring back balance

At your best when you're down
Bring back balance

Not a noisy silence
But a real difference

Bring back balance

An End of An Era

It's an end of an era, but every end has a beginning.

This post should have been made on December 31st 2009, but I was too busy watching TV/eating and didn't felt like blogging.

This is in fact part II of the 'review/preview decade/newyear post'. If you haven't read part I yet, feel free to read it. (Although you won't miss a thing if you don't...)

Actually I should preview the upcoming year/era, which has already started as of now. But the thing is, I can name alot of things that I want to happen, but I've done that already many times before. Saying from now on I will do this and do that, making new years resolutions. (Why is it called resolution? Like the resolution of my screen 1280x800? yeah I got widescreen =)

So I'm not gonna name anything significant that I'll do this year, like making a film, making a radioshow/podcast, working hard on school, concentrate more on music, training for.......wait wait wait stop ....STOP. I said I'm not gonna say those things...

We'll just see what has happened on 31 dec 2010...

It's hard to forecast the future.
Sure you can wish, you can hope.
But more important, you should strive for it.

---

I was listening to the radio the other day and the DJ talked about the usual batch of sms/messages you get at new years eve. Those messages that are send out to literally everyone in you contacts list. Each of them containing more or less the same content: Wish you a happy 2010, have a nice new years eve, wish you all the best, may all your wishes come true ( oh this one is a good one, I like it. May all our wishes come true, hmm, it hits on to every owns indivual wishes, which is good. So everyone can be happy? What if my wish is to conquer the world? I don't see how's that making everyone happy. Yes not everyone can be happy, and not all your wishes can come true, that's life. So it's both an unrealistic and unoriginal wish! Although I do have wish people this before, and probably will continue to do so...) Anyway I did received a bunch of these messages. Normally I would send something back, like last year. But to everyone who has send me something. Thanks, I really appreciate it. Forgive me for not sending something back, since my old school 2006 phone can't handel multiple-sending (unless you wanna call a maximum of 6 'multiple'). Plus, I couldn't think of anything original. Sending a plain message back would be kind of meaningless, since you would have already received a dozen of those.

Back to the radio dj, he asked the listeners to send their most original new years wishes to him. One man won the price. I want to share with you guys this one original message...

"May the best day of 2009 be the worst day of 2010"

=)

A Decade of Life

It's been a decade of life.

For those who were born in the Eighties.
We grew up in the Nineties. Our childhood years.
From 2000 - 2009, our younger years. The era which will be known as 'Our Time'.
The period which will be told as "when we were young" to our children.

"Those were the days..."

Millenium bug, 9/11, tsunami, natural disasters, iPod, internet, mobile phones, war on terror, global warming, terrorism, global epidemic, financial crisis...

I went to highschool from the beginning of this century, graduated in '06. It was sure a time to be remembered. It had it's ups & downs, like life has.
Do you remember your teenage years? 12, 13 years old kid. So young and pure. When I look at kids these days they look so different huh? Then again, I'm still just 21, not like I'm already an old grandpa looking back at things. But still, it's good to watch back once and a while.

Soon turning 22, I guess getting older, for once, does feel okay. It really feels like an end of an Era. We've come from a long way, we've gotten this far... Been trough alot or so it seems. Then again, nothing really happened...It's all within you minds.

A Decade of our Generation.
See the world at 13.
Mindless at 15.
Our Heydays at 17.
And who are we at 19?
You acknowledge life at 21, cause you can't go back.

"All is well with the world" / "It was the best of time, it was the worst of time" *

If you had the chance to go back, would you?
I would not...I'm glad for everything life had offered.

"Downwards looking at the reflections of the skies" (As said somewhere in the middle of the decade/2005)

Tomorrow last post of 2009! Part 2 continues...'An End of An Era'
(Preview of what's about to come: Into the new world of 2010)

*('All is well with the world' as inspired by "Neon Genesis Evangelion" / 'It was the best of time, it was the worst of time' as used as the tagline for the HK film "Infernal Affairs II")

A Gain Generation

"It's not who we are that matters,
It's what we do that defines us."
-from Christopher Nolans' Batman Begins-

"When you get what you want, but not what you need"
-from 'Fix you' by Coldplay-

---------------------
Sometimes you get a second chance. Sometimes you even get a third chance.
I'm a lucky person. I've been giving four, five, six, seven chances.
Each time I tell myself, this is the last chance.
But still, I waste it anyways.
Recently I've been giving another chance again.

Should I thank God or Life for this? I guess I should huh?
Cherish everything you have.

Don't focus too much on the result, but live the process of life.
(As much as a cliche it is...still got to be said: Whole life is a chiche not?)

But yeah, Life's been good to me =) It definately is.

-------------------
How's everyone been doing? Going to school, making homework/projects, exams, working, training, doing sports, making music, going out, attending events, cinema's, shopping, having fun? It's getting chilly again, be sure to pack up warm! This new influenza H1N1 is supposedly spreading out to alot of people. So get your scarves, hats & gloves out and keep it warm. =) And don't you think the Winter fasion is much more fashionable than Summers'? You get to wear jackets & coats! Hoodies, long sleeves & cardigans! (haven't seen anyone with a cardigan yet though).
Speaking of clothes, found out the colorrange of my clothes is consisted of all variations of blue, grey & white. I also got some brown & dark green. But mostly it's blue/grey/black. Some say that's boring, but bright red or yellow just doesn't suit me. =P

You know fashion...Fashion is about wearing something you like and be creative about that. Create your own style. Take different things and make it your own. Most people misunderstood fashion by "following it". Blindly following everything what's supposed to be "hot or cool" is like the complete opposite of what fashion is about. Not saying you shouldn't wear certain style, but more so, wear it because you like it. And it should suit you. Something that expresses "YOU". What you stand for. Something that adds to your personality.
(okay someone hire me as an editor for a fashion magazine =P)

Been talking with a friend about the weather (yeah this is Holland! most common standard topic in this country). Appearantly the skies got some suprises for us next week. According to that one site, from next week on the temperature is going down and snow is expected! I want inches of thick pack of snow!

Last month before we go in to the first year of double digits in this new millenium.
Let's make the December of 2009 a pleasant one!

Peace!
--------------------
Music: John Mayer - Room For Squares & Heavier Things (Bought his 3CD Box) It's definately some nice music for the winter days!